OK, legs not rubbery yesterday and didn’t feel like a complete loser by the end of class. Still far, far from where I want to be, but… progress!
The first hour of this week’s hyper-intense bulerias por fiesta class went really well; I felt strong, and I retained all of the choreography as Roberto built it up (well, except for one combination, but at least I had it in my head, it was just my body that wasn’t cooperating). This particular bulerias is a beauty, and Roberto is such a beautiful dancer to watch. As an aside, as classical as his training is, he can really get down and be so deliciously Jerezano-earthy. Delightful.
But, dang, then that last half hour hit, and things started getting tricky in my head again. A couple of combinations were so close in their essence but different enough in their details that I kept getting them confused. So I always ended up going in the wrong direction. But at least I didn’t have the inner feeling of having an entire choreography unravel on me like last week. No, it was more of a feeling of just needing an extra 20 minutes to work the individual combinations and then piece the entire thing back together. I really felt that if this were a 2-hour class instead of a 1 1/2-hour class, I could have nailed this one to the wall.
But, alas, our time with Roberto on these Saturday afternoons is limited. So, how shall I approach next week’s 1 ½-hour session? First, I want everyone to know that Roberto did read my post from last week and sent me the loveliest, most encouraging private message you could imagine, and for that I am so deeply grateful. He is such a generous teacher. But next, I really am looking at this internal process of how choreography is laid quickly into the brain.
For me, to use a computer analogy, I feel like my hard drive has to be defragmented. I've already upgraded my firmware by studying with a new teacher, and it would be great if I could install some extra memory to help with speed, but I think some reorganizing of the memories that I already have is what will free up some space and help my brain to not slow down during that last half hour.
Part of reworking those old memories is actually working on the new material at home – especially now that I have it on my camera, thanks to Roberto’s suggestion. Practice brings back those patterns of movement that are so particular to flamenco, and I definitely can feel physically which ones have come back and which ones have not – yet. So it’s all good work, and I’m glad to have the work to do.
I’m hoping that by retraining, I can create the space to focus on the tricky details that make Roberto’s choreographies so interesting and unique and challenging – and fun. And I have to admit, that’s something that I genuinely had yesterday – fun.
Hey, you're making progress! You're probably right about working on the material at home. I mean, we all know practice makes perfect. But I also think there's much to be said about removing yourself from the "pressure" of the class setting and getting in touch with the choreography when you're completely alone. That's how it is for me, anyway. When the teacher isn't watching or when I'm not distracted/intimidated by a fellow dancer who seems to be catching on much faster, I'm able to make new/different connections between my brain and my feet. Sometimes after I've struggled with something in class, I come home only to do it perfectly in my living room. Brains are funny things, aren't they? Wow, this is what I love about discussing the learning process with other, sometimes much more experienced, dancers: I can see that we ALL struggle sometimes, so I shouldn't take my own struggles so personally. Isn't it great we dancers can relate to one another?!
ReplyDeleteyes coco, i saw the difference from the first week to the 2nd almost immediately at the onset of the class. it's as if you had entered your comfort zone and made it your home for the duration of the class :)
ReplyDeletegood job....just keep doing what you're doing to make the gradual transition back to full time flamenco as much fun and satisfying as possible!
abrazos, roberto
Whew, finally able to grab a few moments to comment --
ReplyDeleteRoberto,
Thank you so much for the support and encouragement and the reminder to keep it all fun and satisfying. Your class really is fun, I love your singing, and your students are so warm and welcoming. Flamenco, for me, is an intriguing combination of a refuge and a scary place. Ultimately, it helps me to know myself better.
Marissa, dear Marissa,
Thank you for your words as well! Never, never feel intimidated by any other dancer. While I know exactly how you feel -- and I have a future post dedicated to this exact topic -- the truth is that you can model yourself after the more advanced dancers, and most dancers are happy and maybe even flattered if you ask for help on a combination or with a body position when your teacher isn't available. And beyond that, maybe a new friendship will emerge... it's happened many, many times for me. Go, girl!