OPPRESSION/OBSESSION

Two months since the last post about the triumph over nerves while teaching my first two class sessions, and my excuse is, I hope, legit: When I arrived to teach my very next class, I was greeted by a not-very-happy studio owner who didn’t approve of flamenco shoes on her floor. The studio manager had assured me that the floor had been through much worse, and I had tested it before booking any studio time. It seemed fine. But the studio owner had peeked in on my classes, and on this night she gave me a rather violent rendition of her perception of flamenco footwork – all the more damaging to my ego because the way I teach footwork technique is, “allow gravity to take your foot from your perfect posture,” NOT, “aggressively slam your shoes into the ground while holding your hands in tight fists.” She then showed me the corners of the flooring – completely unrelated to our dancing, she did admit that – but she wanted me to see how the delicate paper veneer was already peeling off.  I crawled across the floor and was shocked to find the beginnings of dents where I stand and teach. I had no idea her floors were paper veneer – who builds a dance floor out of that?

The owner suggested that I teach flamenco in soft shoes -- in, you know, something like sneakers. Or, we could wear the flamenco shoes but do the footwork very, very delicately. I cancelled the class on the spot and began the search for a new studio. Again. This time I carried the pressure of having excited new students who had already paid for class cards. Every spare moment outside of my intense summer “day job” schedule was fully dedicated to securing a new space.

So many dead ends.

I almost gave up. I shifted from feeling oppressed to feeling like an outcast. Pfft -- why would anyone want to learn flamenco anyway? It’s not salsa, tango, or hip-hop. It’s not “Zumba” or “Cardio Barre.” Not to put any of those things down, but flamenco is not… “popular.” It’s somewhat obscure, it’s so serious, it’s too intense, how can it be any fun? It’s not the latest weight loss/fitness craze, and it doesn’t seem like a class for meeting guys/chicks. And worst of all, no one appreciates it, especially not studio owners. So… why am I even still thinking about it?

But after two weeks, one Middle Eastern arts studio said they didn’t have the physical space for a dance class right now but they were expanding and they love flamenco and want to have my classes in their new space when they are ready in 2013. They understand. Flamenco has its roots in the Middle East, so they understand. Still, 2013…

Finally a studio that I have driven by hundreds of times over the past two years emailed me with, “Flamenco would be a wonderful addition to what we already offer, and we have your time slots available. We only ask that you tape your shoes.”

Duct tape over the nails, done that a thousand times, such a common request that a roll of duct tape is a staple in my dance bag. Time to visit this studio.

Dance Studio No. 1, corner of Pico and Bundy, second floor http://www.danceno1.com/. A dancers’ studio. As soon as I walked in, I felt like I was 10 years old again – the unmistakable muffled clacking of toe shoes on the floor, piano music rippling into the hallway, teachers’ black canes with the white tips made for banging out tempos leaning in the corner. Signed the contract, paid the rent, and sent out the emails and facebook posts that we were back in class.

We’ve been dancing there for a month-and-a-half now. I love, love, love this floor, it sounds deep and thunderous and feels supportive and grounding, and the truth is that the years of dance classes before us have already given the floor enough appropriate wear that I don’t feel like we are dancing on egg shells. We have an occasional laugh at the grunting from the Karate class in the next studio, but what that means to me is that this is a busy, thriving place. And the people who work there are genuinely glad that we’re there. They printed my name and cell number in their fall flyer already – and I didn’t even know they had one out until last week when I asked about ballet classes for my sons.

Most importantly I’ve had the chance to answer the question, why do I even still think about flamenco? It’s my therapy. I find my strength there, my weaknesses. It’s my safe haven and the place where I confront my fears. I solve problems and share the solutions. And my students – even after only a month or so, I see the beginning of the obsession in their eyes. The focus, the desire, the frustration, the effort, the adjustment, the satisfaction; and then repeat, the focus, the desire, the frustration, the effort, the adjustment, the satisfaction.

After class last night, one of my students said it was like exercise for her soul. She’s a lifelong dancer, like I am, and a member of Pacifico Dance Company (http://www.pacificodance.com/best folklorico I’ve ever seen, ever). Early on in my flamenco training, I realized that very same thing. Flamenco may not be massively popular, but it’s deeply moving on an individual level; it may not be the latest hot thing, but once it has grabbed you, it doesn’t let go. And once you commit to flamenco – it becomes an obsession.